A Painful Memory
by ObSeSsEdWiThSvU
Summary: Story takes place a month after Olivia's mother died and something brings up painful memories. OE. Rated M to be safe please R&R! REALLY BAD AT SUMMARYS BUT ITS WORTH READING
1. A dream and the secret box

**Disclaimer: I don't own SVU.**

**Claimer: I own Bill. and I wrote the poem. **

**A Painful Memory**

**Ch 1**

**The Dream and A Poem**

It has been a month since Olivia's mother died, and her dreams are haunting her.

_**Dream**_

_Olivia sat in her closet with tears flowing down her face like a river. Her mother had just come home drunk as usual and beat her. Little Olivia had a big bruise in the shape of a hand across her face. When her mother always come home drunk and beat her, Olivia would run to her closet, sit in a corner behind her clothes, and cry. And wish she had a better life like everyother child in the world. Just as she was thinking this Bill, her mother's boyfriend opened the closet door, obvestly drunk. Grabbed Olivia by the leg and pulled her out if the closet as she was kicking and screaming and onto the floor. He picked her up roughly and threw her on the bed. He began to Undress her and himself. Just as he began to touch her._

_**End of Dream**_

Olivia started screaming "NO, STOP PLEASE JUST STOP!" Elliot sat straight up from hearing his wife's cries.

"Liv honey wake up" he said shaking her lightly trying not to startle her. Olivia shot straight up with tears running down her face. Elliot took her into his arms and held her tight and kissed the top of her head.

"Shh its ok" he said reassuring her.

Olivia couldn't speak from all the tears running down her cheeks, her throat hurt from screaming.

"Do you want to talk about it Liv? Elliot asked as he hugged her to let her know that hes there for her.

"No..not right now" Olivia said finally being able to speak

"Ok, whenever your ready im here." he said

"Thanks"

"Ok we have to get ready for work anyway" Elliot said trying to change the subject.

"El I think im going to call in sick today"

"Ok Liv" Elliot said as he got up to get showerd and dressed.

* * *

"Ok Liv im leaving now" Elliot said to Olivia as she sat on the couch watching the news. 

"Ok, have a good day at work and be careful" she said kissing him on the lips.

After Elliot left Olivia went into her room and went into the closet and pulled out a box. She took a deep breath before opening it. Inside were poems, a diary and many other things from her childhood, well what she had of a childhood. Which was not much. She opened a folder piece of paper and read it allowed.

**A Painful Memory**

By: Olivia Benson

I remember the day my mother first came home drunk,

when she came in and hit me my heart sunk,

It continued everyday until I moved out,

The painful memories will follow me with out a doubt

Though my heart is broken and my scars will not heel,

I still love her I dont know why but you can't help how you feel,

Even though shes gone it still feels like shes here,

The memories of her come back more and more with every tear.

So here I sit 12 years old,

I hope someday to grow up to be strong and bold,

And be nothing like my mother or father,

But cruelness and drunk run in my genes so why even bother.

* * *

By the end of the poem Oliva had tears pouring down her face again.

* * *

**Sorry it was so short, longer chapters in the future, I promise! Please R&R. Sorry if it sucks but it just kinda popped into my head. Thanks  
**

**P.S. if you have any comments or ideas please let me know! thanks  
**

Obsessedwithsvu


	2. The Sonogram

**Disclaimer: I dont own svu, but I do own the poem in this chapter.**

**THANKS TO EVERY ONE WHO HAS REVIEWED! **

**ch 2**

**The Sonogram**

* * *

She folded the poem up and placed it back in the box. She pulled another wrinklely piece of paper out of the box and read it out loud.

**A Cry In The Night**

I cry myself to sleep everynight,

and pray to god tomorrow there won't be another fight,

Just for once that I could have a normal day,

and be treated by my mother in a decent way.

Why does my mother have to be like this I just dont know why,

Maybe she gets enjoyment out of seeing me cry,

Everyday the pain grows worst,

The beatings grow harder and with more force.

* * *

There was a "A" that was written really sloppy below "The beatings grow harder and with more force.". As if she was going to write another part in the poem. She remembered just as she was writing the "A" her mother came into her room and hit her for no reason.

She let a few tears out and folded the paper back up and placed it back in the box. Next she pulled out a sonagram, she ammeditly put her hand over her stomache and remembered. She wanted to tell Elliot about her baby that she had to give up in highschool, but she was so scared to tell him. So scared that he would leave her, scared of what he would think of her. She had wanted that baby more than anything but, she just couldn't because of who the father was, and she was afraid she couldn't be a mother, that she would hurt her baby like her mother hurt her.

She decided she would tell Elliot later either at dinner or when he came home, which ever one came first.

* * *

**Late that night**

**  
**Olivia and Elliot sat at the table eating dinner. She was more nervous than shes ever been. She didn't know what she would do if she told him and he left her. She took a deep breath and decided to tell him after dinner.

**after dinner**

Elliot..." Olivia said not looking up at him.

"Yea" he said looking up at her.

"I have to tell you something, but I don't know how you will react." She said quietly

"Ok...go head tell me."

"hold on ill be right back" she got up from the table and slipped into the bedroom. Minutes later she came out with a box in her hands. She sat down and opened the box, and handed the sonogram to Elliot.

"Whats this Liv?" Elliot asked curiously.

"I think that you should know that when I was in highschool, my mother's boyfriend Bill, raped me."she didn't look up at him. She took a deep breath before continueing.

"I got pregnant, I had an abortion, I was afraid." she said as she started to cry.

"Afraid of what Liv?" Elliot said as he took her into his arms hugging her and kissed the top of her head.

"That I wouldn't be a good mother, I was afraid of who the baby's father was."

"Shh...it's ok" he said reassuring her. "why didn't you ever tell me?" he asked

"Because I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"That you would leave me." Olivia said in between sobs.

"I will never leave you, I don't care about whats in your past it doesn't matter to me." he said reassuring her again.

"Liv, look at me:

she slowly looked up.

"I love you, Olivia Benson, for who you are, not whats happened to you in your past. Do you understand me?"

she nodded "I love you too, Elliot Stabler." she said

* * *

PLEASE R&R.  



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